tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1727515669273994542024-03-13T09:56:12.158-07:00Teaching in SiberiaUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-172751566927399454.post-81367441068708115532011-06-16T08:43:00.000-07:002011-06-16T08:43:08.220-07:00The final chapter, and a new book begins...My time in Siberia has come to an end. Whilst at times it was very difficult, I tried to keep the problems and negative aspects out of this blog as I knew it would do me no good to focus on them.<br />
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Overall, I have no regrets about taking the job in Nizhnevartovsk although I didn't like the town. The school I worked for was great, and most of the people I met while I was there were wonderful. Although my current plans don't include a return there, my motto of 'Never say never' stands. If I hadn't gone to Russia I would have stayed unemployed, or at best been forced to take a job I didn't enjoy. Instead, I learned I can survive without the safety net of friends and family, I've had some great experiences and spent 9 months doing a job I love, albeit in challenging conditions sometimes!<br />
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So, what's next? Well I probably won't post on this blog again but will start posting on <a href="http://mspeekay.blogspot.com/">http://mspeekay.blogspot.com/</a> again, so you'll just have to read that to find out!<br />
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Thank you for reading, and for all your encouraging comments - it really helped.<br />
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Margate, England. June 2011Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-172751566927399454.post-89672664156319695682011-04-16T23:30:00.000-07:002011-04-16T23:30:16.406-07:00Why?I've been asking myself "why?" a lot recently. I'm not religious, and although I'd call myself vaguely spiritual I don't really know what I believe in. One thing I do believe in, however, is that everything happens for a reason, even if we can't see it at the time.<br />
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When I came to Siberia in September it felt like the right thing to do. The alternative was unemployment in the UK and I knew I would find that incredibly hard to deal with. It hasn't been easy here, and there are times when I've felt alone, forgotten, ignored, unappreciated and I've really struggled. Even though by Siberian standards the winter was mild, the cold was painful and meant that I could hardly spend any time outside - something that I've really missed. But even though it's been hard, I'm convinced it was the right thing to do. My contract ends in 4 weeks and I'm leaving it open as to whether I return or not (although if I do, it won't be until January at the earliest).<br />
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The problem is, that I'm already becoming impatient to know why I was here. How is this going to tie in to the rest of my life? I've done things here I didn't anticipate doing (teaching children for example) and my Russian has improved but there is more to it than that. I have had to cope here without the safety net of family and friends to pick me up if I'm down, and this has possibly been the most important thing I've learned - that I can cope without the safety net; in fact in some ways it has made things easier as I've had no choice but to keep going. I hope I can remember this when I get back to the UK.<br />
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I've also been wondering why I started a blog, as I haven't exactly been a regular blogger, and for those of you who were expecting regular updates - I apologise. I am going to write a few retrospective blogs on here over the next few weeks and will also continue after I'm home - so you can follow my integration back into the UK and the reverse culture shock I'm bound to experience!<br />
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As they say, watch this space...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-172751566927399454.post-72237655250745604482011-01-26T10:52:00.000-08:002011-01-26T10:54:44.259-08:00Can I?In a previous blog I wrote the following as one of my first posts about 3 years ago. I thought it fitted quite well with this blog so I have copied it exactly as I first wrote it:<br />
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<b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Can I?</span></u></b><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">I wanted to share with you some thoughts I had recently.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><br />
I was talking with a group of people who were all at stages in their lives where they feel they needed to, or wanted to, make a change of some kind. One person there wanted to change her career completely but said several times "I don't know if I can do it."</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">It then occurred to me that we all ask that question a lot:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Can I have more time to do what I want to?<br />
Can I afford a holiday?<br />
Can I work part time?<br />
Can I be paid for what I enjoy doing?</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">and so on - the list of "can I's" in life is probably endless, especially with the demands on everyone now and the fast pace of change in our society.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Most people think of "Can I?" in the sense of "Am I able to?" but I realised that equally important is the sense of asking permission. When we say "Can I open the window?" we are asking permission, not if we are able to do it.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">So it is important that we give ourselves permission to do things sometimes. There are times in our lives when we need to allow ourselves to take a risk, to be scared, to go against the grain of what is often accepted, or even to just stop for a while and think, while the rest of the world is rushing madly by.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Next time you are thinking about making a change in your life, find a quiet place, stand there and think to yourself - "Can I do it?"</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-172751566927399454.post-65808132068515150552011-01-25T11:56:00.000-08:002011-01-25T11:56:30.886-08:00Beauty and the bleakI went home for the New Year. I had two weeks at home, two great weeks, although with the stress of travelling either side. I often wonder why I chose to work somewhere two flights away from home! It was great to be back home, to see family, dear friends, green grass, and to eat decent cheese. I was prepared for the fact that I'd get 'post holiday blues' when I came back to Siberia, but I wasn't prepared for the way they'd hit me like a freight train.<br />
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When I came back I was tired, jet lagged and with the start of a flu virus (although I didn't know it at the time). I had a few hours sleep before I had to go into the school and I started teaching the next day. I went from staying in a nice, clean house with a garden in the UK to having to come into a soulless concrete block, sharing a stairwell with alcoholic smokers (who use the landings for drinking and smoking), avoiding the streams of urine on the concrete stairs every time I came in. My flat is actually very comfortable, and whilst inside I can sometimes forget where I am, as soon as I looked out of the window or open the door and see grey, white, and concrete it hit me.<br />
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I couldn't feel anything for the place when I first got back. It was bleak. Everything seemed bleak. The lack of decent fresh vegetables in the shops, missing family and friends, everything looking the same, the concrete stairwell, the weather, the four months of winter still to come... all just bleak. I felt no connection with the city at all. I couldn't even enjoy the job.<br />
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I spent a few days in bed with flu. Fortunately I didn't have it too badly but it was bad enough for me to go 3 days without seeing another person. I started to get more and more miserable - "Why was I here?", "Why had I said I'd come back for a second year?" I just wanted to be at home. Even being jobless and homeless would be better than this place. Then, when I first ventured outside again to take the rubbish out I noticed the trees. Amongst the concrete blocks, snow mounds which used to be cars, the piles of slabs of broken up ice topped with discarded Christmas trees, and the abandoned children's playground, stood the trees. They were heavily covered in white frost. Dripping with frost. The sun had come out and I saw real beauty there amongst the bleakness around it. My eyes opened again and I started to see hope. Things started to turn around from that point.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7PUxTPHSIJQPxphw33jE5gY0LkGjuKohaaQ3LK9PeAtehX0cMAUXEuI1sXe2c5d4ORj952L6vWrR6sKSDrbdU9_g4zZFy3IWFF6J8bpmERx-tW3yDHOefUYZ_hjQ6HblpLuscxCX0o6A/s1600/IMG_2149.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7PUxTPHSIJQPxphw33jE5gY0LkGjuKohaaQ3LK9PeAtehX0cMAUXEuI1sXe2c5d4ORj952L6vWrR6sKSDrbdU9_g4zZFy3IWFF6J8bpmERx-tW3yDHOefUYZ_hjQ6HblpLuscxCX0o6A/s320/IMG_2149.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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I have said I want to come back for a second year. There are many reasons for that but I think that if I hadn't seen the trees that day I may not have made the decision. Even when everything looks bleak there is always some hope or beauty there, it just takes a moment to look for it. The Siberian winter is very harsh but the days are getting lighter and the hope that I can get through it is back.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZq0etTSFnyc8yM4-eDkb1kEp9dv3V85n-6gd6iW-IEES8OY12bXtOORdWUCpsJ0fS49_01TyJPpWfoihyphenhypheng5Vc09F5SAht_S09dEdeenj-eSu-kWZMO04XDZH3pmJTS9FsSw34p2EQMck/s1600/IMG_2156.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZq0etTSFnyc8yM4-eDkb1kEp9dv3V85n-6gd6iW-IEES8OY12bXtOORdWUCpsJ0fS49_01TyJPpWfoihyphenhypheng5Vc09F5SAht_S09dEdeenj-eSu-kWZMO04XDZH3pmJTS9FsSw34p2EQMck/s320/IMG_2156.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-172751566927399454.post-70443788372569270152010-11-10T11:06:00.000-08:002010-11-10T11:06:11.179-08:00It's easy to forget<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">It's very easy to forget where I am. I've had a few days off and haven't been out much lately. I went for a massage on Sunday which, apart from the odd few words of Russian spoken, and the fact that the masseuse didn't discreetly leave the room when I undressed, could easily have been at home. I've been watching English language DVDs, been skyping with family, listening to podcasts, audio books and music, and reading English language books. I've been warm, I've been eating food I enjoy, that I've cooked myself, and to be honest, I could have been anywhere, even at home.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">On Monday, though, I slipped on some ice. I didn't hurt myself badly, just jarred my arm, and fortunately my laptop (which was in my backpack) and my iPod (in my pocket) were unharmed. That was all I was worried about! It reminded me though that this isn't home. That this is a harsh and very different environment. I had an evening out tonight and walked home in a temperature of -10 degrees C. That is actually very mild for a Siberian winter and to be honest it didn't feel too cold (despite the fact I wasn't really dressed for it), but I could feel the difference. I felt the pain in my head, and I felt my nostrils starting to freeze. I had to keep moving my scarf round because it got wet from my breath - and it froze each time. I know it will get much colder than this (although the weekend is forecast to be mild) and I am actually looking forward to the experience, even though it will be difficult.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Not all the experiences here are hard though. I had my first 'cultural' excursion today - to a ballet in the </span><st1:place><st1:placetype><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Palace</span></st1:placetype><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"> of </span><st1:placename><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Arts</span></st1:placename></st1:place><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">. It was The Nutcracker Suite. It wasn't live music but the show was great to watch, and I loved the way the audience clapped along to the music. To our Western minds, this seemed a little incongruous but was natural to them, as were the small children running onto the stage with flowers for the dancers. One poor little girl was a bit too late and started crying though, poor thing. The curtain call was after the house lights came on, which was another thing I found a little odd. I was definitely an enjoyable experience though.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">So with the ballet and the cold, it is welcome to </span><st1:country-region><st1:place><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Russia</span></st1:place></st1:country-region><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">!! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-172751566927399454.post-34580985820170956352010-10-24T06:05:00.000-07:002010-10-24T06:05:07.152-07:00Time alone<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;">Some things haven't changed simply because I'm working in another country. My colleagues and my students are great but at the moment they are the only people I know here, so any social activities are an extension of work. Whilst it's good to go out with colleagues at the weekends or after work, try new restaurants or bars and try to forget about work, I still need time on my own. I always have done. It might be the Gemini in me that gets torn between wanting to be with people and be on my own. I seem to need more and more time on my own to recharge my batteries these days but the good thing is that the older I get, the more easily I recognise the signs that I need to do it. If I start to get grumpy, ratty with others etc, I just take time out as I did this weekend. I spent last night and today being a domestic goddess (ish!), watching TV, studying, reading, listening to music etc and I feel much better as a result. Almost ready to face next week, in fact. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br />
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</div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-172751566927399454.post-81137017414172242012010-10-22T11:21:00.000-07:002010-10-22T11:21:49.787-07:00I have smiled<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Sometimes it's tough teaching. Sometimes it's tough being away from home. Sometimes it's tough when the only people you can talk to or spend time with are the people you work with. But sometimes things happen which make you smile. These can be very small things, or big things, and if you focus on them the harder stuff somehow seems easier to deal with.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf0wLsokkgwIQmbBeDDVS6PjgBHVoVhu4KOTEixUoGwaKQctFeGqQ9N-7E0rrP_AJ8uiwSn0qL3xp45Ad3CjdLvcWs6nsav3cc8hZaEEtl1NhCbl0UMSY7YlbY6qjF9AmrnAow8GJu-ODz/s1600/IMG_1905.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf0wLsokkgwIQmbBeDDVS6PjgBHVoVhu4KOTEixUoGwaKQctFeGqQ9N-7E0rrP_AJ8uiwSn0qL3xp45Ad3CjdLvcWs6nsav3cc8hZaEEtl1NhCbl0UMSY7YlbY6qjF9AmrnAow8GJu-ODz/s320/IMG_1905.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I was having a tough day and one of my classes bought me chocolate for teachers' day a couple of weeks ago. That made me smile.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDo42WFW8nlgRVgY0ZMU1OuybH8MtRYBIEkvHno0xKoqltdWwCWjTmlhY-UYVT1ehA5okl5tu8f8JLEV7ZdEE_TJpFuv3_40Hwln9a2FuaSTcSLx9_ypBpGpen24ScVp-zVFX_u5JZtyG0/s1600/IMG_1897.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDo42WFW8nlgRVgY0ZMU1OuybH8MtRYBIEkvHno0xKoqltdWwCWjTmlhY-UYVT1ehA5okl5tu8f8JLEV7ZdEE_TJpFuv3_40Hwln9a2FuaSTcSLx9_ypBpGpen24ScVp-zVFX_u5JZtyG0/s320/IMG_1897.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I went to the market at the weekend and saw these little guys sneaking a feed without paying. That made me smile.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I was walking past a 16 floor high block of flats and I saw some large writing on the ground. I stepped back to read it. It said "Julia, I love you. You are all I need" (in Russian of course). That made me smile. Similar things can be seen all over the city, and the love messages outside the maternity hospital really make me smile.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I was walking past Maternity Hospital No. 1 the other day. A proud father was posing for a photo at the entrance, holding a new born baby. He was wearing his best suit and everyone had balloons. That made me smile.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYWAnX4ARQUzbknDhkJi7fIzuDxDjaL8P2TGH6o25mGmcqRh5pCxcTvvFocv3nlOs1fW-kBscjUSMUjReXftzwD3I5-uWq2_ONWsdoByod8uX5HpRPsbVWGU5PcDjMTTFO3PlC_4r__3UB/s1600/IMG_1919.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYWAnX4ARQUzbknDhkJi7fIzuDxDjaL8P2TGH6o25mGmcqRh5pCxcTvvFocv3nlOs1fW-kBscjUSMUjReXftzwD3I5-uWq2_ONWsdoByod8uX5HpRPsbVWGU5PcDjMTTFO3PlC_4r__3UB/s320/IMG_1919.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">We have had the first snow. It melted but it looked beautiful on the tree outside my flat. That made me smile. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">It was sunny this morning and a Great Tit landed on the tree. I couldn't get a picture, but that made me smile too.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2iD8Rgowe4kkQ7aHRdePxWb-MryltWflsO0F6_gwUIUnvTFd3PRqFiSP6xi99HD0XpYLZFSa4HXpVMrexLx_XbQjCqzx-40hd2AVYiZu_zpKO2-FO9ZyGoHpPmRE_aPU7LMxZTL-MZ2TO/s1600/IMG_1901.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2iD8Rgowe4kkQ7aHRdePxWb-MryltWflsO0F6_gwUIUnvTFd3PRqFiSP6xi99HD0XpYLZFSa4HXpVMrexLx_XbQjCqzx-40hd2AVYiZu_zpKO2-FO9ZyGoHpPmRE_aPU7LMxZTL-MZ2TO/s320/IMG_1901.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I know it's partially caused by pollution but this pink sunset made me smile. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Lots of other things have made me smile: words from friends, family, colleagues and students. Funny things people (often students!) have said, finding Kleenex Balsam tissues in the supermarket, seeing a child try to catch snowflakes, but most of all, waking up every day and realising how lucky I am to be able to do a job I love. At this precise moment in time I wouldn't want to be doing anything else. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-172751566927399454.post-81286812332062723952010-10-05T23:44:00.000-07:002010-10-05T23:44:59.605-07:00Hidden treasuresVery few of the shops, bars, cafes or restaurants here are obvious. Places are advertised but when you try to find them all you see are buildings with no obvious entrance or shop front, and no way of telling what's inside other than a small sign in Russian.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKLoARhvRD5aigq6rFMM93CyLrKk_4kqa1T-rxRoE_bYgcJaKUtD_4giDhBD88K2UMmm4sf2kI5S1N3NliAM6UygewQTNbUrXLq6EXxiLyUhk0WLL2MsDmkVauHcgLj3fBD4RRjPwxBYw/s1600/IMG_1880.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKLoARhvRD5aigq6rFMM93CyLrKk_4kqa1T-rxRoE_bYgcJaKUtD_4giDhBD88K2UMmm4sf2kI5S1N3NliAM6UygewQTNbUrXLq6EXxiLyUhk0WLL2MsDmkVauHcgLj3fBD4RRjPwxBYw/s320/IMG_1880.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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This picture shows a row of shops with no indication from outside what they are selling.<br />
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Some newer buildings are appearing, baby shopping malls, but these are generally very exclusive shops (think fur and diamonds), and you can't see what shops are inside until you go in. Restaurants and cafes are similar, so every door is an adventure, albeit a somewhat daunting one occasionally.<br />
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Last night I went to a bar/restaurant with some colleagues. We walked through concrete and steel tower blocks, mud and puddles (looking forward to the freezing temperatures so we don't have to puddle dodge!) and came to a steel door with a small sign next to it. We went in, down some stairs, and it opened into a huge bar area (think a small Chicagos or something similar in terms of size). We were led upstairs into an equally large restaurant area with luxurious looking fittings and soft furnishings (owned by a well-connected local apparently...) and had a good meal, accompanied by, a rowing boat in the middle of the floor, walls containing fish tanks, background music and women in high heels and short skirts dancing. An interesting and not unpleasant experience with an very varied but Russian-focussed menu. They also had menus in English, which says a lot about the customers they get (ex pats are rare but - other than the teachers - generally wealthy)<br />
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My point is that this isn't the kind of place I'm used to. There is no obvious centre or focus to this city. A lot of places are behind closed doors and you need to know the right people to tell you where they are (and preferably to go with you the first time). Even the 'ethnic' market is behind gates and not obviously visible from the road. I've been wondering why this is and can only think that it is a result of the communist past when if you had lots you didn't flaunt it as obviously as is the case now, and if you didn't have anything you were hidden away from everyone else. Things are changing but a lot of the culture clearly remains.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-172751566927399454.post-5616895839748701072010-10-01T10:41:00.000-07:002010-10-01T10:41:32.082-07:00The one I wasn't sure about writingI wasn't sure whether to write this blog post or not but one reason I'm here is to help others get through what I've been through (albeit indirectly), so for that reason I am sitting in my flat at 11.30pm on a Friday night writing a difficult blog entry.<br />
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I have suffered from severe depression and agoraphobia. The main catalyst for the last episode was about 18 months ago. It was a serious incident in the workplace for which I had little or no support from my employers. The event resulted in a court case and was the most stressful thing I have ever had to face. I lost all confidence in my ability to do my job (even though my ability had not diminished in any way) and my self esteem plummeted. I was signed off sick with depression, I didn't leave the house for months and completely retreated into my own little world. On one occasion, in April I think, I went to the theatre on a rare attempt to be what I saw as 'normal'. I had a major panic attack and felt as though I'd failed. I then stayed indoors for several weeks, crushed at my 'failure'.<br />
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I gradually started going out, first sitting on my doorstep, then little walks down the lane. I had registered several months before to do the Moonwalk, a charity overnight marathon through London. I wanted to train for it and I had a purpose so, with the support of family, friends, and particularly from online friends on Twitter, I trained. One lovely twitter friend offered to meet me at Euston station so I didn't have to arrive on my own. My mum saw me onto the train and after a nail biting, nail digging in arms journey I arrived and met J. I didn't complete the walk due to it coinciding with a 48 hour stomach bug but I'd accepted a challenge and that was enough for me to see it as a success. I'd managed the train journey, met people I'd never seen before, and even managed to get home totally alone. It was a turning point. From then I got part time work in a pub and started going out again.<br />
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So how did I get from there to here? I'd been happy not to work before that. It was Safe (with a capital S). There were no risks involved. That's what depression did to me - it took away my ability to take any risks, however small. I knew I had to be sure I could still do things that were outside my comfort zone. I love teaching, couldn't find a job in the UK teaching English so started to look abroad. I'd learned Russian at Uni (many years previously!) and had worked in Poland so had some experience of living in colder climates during the winter. Russia seemed a logical choice, so when I saw a job in Siberia, I thought "why not?!"<br />
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Since I've been here, I've been down a few times and I've cried. That's a normal reaction to being away from home. I'm also accepting it is also a normal reaction to teaching! The big difference is that now there are enough challenges every day for me to be motivated to continue and not want to go to bed. When I want to sleep here, it's because I'm tired (or hungover!), not because I'm avoiding the real world.<br />
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I wanted to write this as a lot of people who read this blog have suffered from, or are suffering from, depression or anxiety. Don't think about the big steps. Think about the little steps along the lane or even to the end of the drive. They will lead to the things you think are big and scary now.<br />
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Some of my colleagues may read this. They don't know I had depression (although my boss does). I don't want to be treated any differently. I'll have emotional days, but it doesn't mean I'm sinking again. I love what I do, I love where I am (at the moment!), and I know I've made the right decision. I'm looking forward to the next few months and whatever they will bring.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-172751566927399454.post-65361188627458183962010-09-29T00:07:00.000-07:002010-09-29T00:07:55.206-07:00Three weeks inI've been here just over 3 weeks now. Mostly it's gone well. There are timetable challenges (mostly the number of kids' I'm teaching and the fact I don't have any business classes which I expected as a business English specialist), but challenges are there to be overcome, or so I'm told. The school is great, the staff are really helpful, and most of the students are really nice too. <div><br />
</div><div>I've used the language a little but don't have enough knowledge to converse with people. Mind you, strangers would think someone crazy if they started a random conversation with them anyway. </div><div><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp7QHDnu5i9UpHHCUoi9Kf5BsFxaVgurAo1z_jjAPjO1jSuRH3yvOsyNSyJESWiY3zTkNHVJzWP4ebIP8Fuqp6AmpGYV0TZuf5chXPadSpl3F-6hEIjjvenADYxbkJ7Gdd19xIpCnQ_1I/s1600/IMG_1873.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp7QHDnu5i9UpHHCUoi9Kf5BsFxaVgurAo1z_jjAPjO1jSuRH3yvOsyNSyJESWiY3zTkNHVJzWP4ebIP8Fuqp6AmpGYV0TZuf5chXPadSpl3F-6hEIjjvenADYxbkJ7Gdd19xIpCnQ_1I/s320/IMG_1873.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div>I've moved into a different flat, which is bigger and very comfortable. It is about 30 mins' walk from the school and on the 5th floor with no lift but I'm getting used to that. The picture above is the road leading to my flat.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Autumn has been lovely, I was surprised how many trees there are here in what is basically a sprawling concrete-covered swamp. </div><div><br />
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</div><div>The past few days has seen a change though. Many of the trees have lost their leaves, the hanging baskets have been removed from the lamp posts and the flower beds have been dug over. Winter is on the way and people are starting to prepare for it. Snow has been forecast later this week, whether it will be the first snow to settle this year or not remains to be seen. At the moment I can say I'd prefer to see the snow and ice rather than the huge puddles and generally grey sky (the picture above was taken on a rare sunny day) but I'm sure that in a few weeks' time I will be looking forward to the spring.</div><div><br />
</div><div>There are so many challenges here - every brings something new to motivate me. I doubt I'll get bored here, although loneliness is obviously a possibility. It's something I'm aware of so I'm trying to keep busy to stop it happening. </div><div><br />
</div><div>In the meantime, I'm planning, teaching and doing the same things I do at home - cooking, cleaning, washing, reading, spending time online, shopping... Life's not so different here really. Yet....</div><div><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-172751566927399454.post-24329887637597123432010-09-09T03:22:00.000-07:002010-09-09T03:22:08.119-07:00In Siberia...Well I made it! The flights were fairly uneventful although there was a difference between the international and the internal flight. Just before take off on the flight from Heathrow the cabin crew came round with boiled sweets (pear drops, just in case you are interested). On the internal flight from Moscow to Nizhnevartovsk they handed out sick bags just before take off - fortunately not needed!!<br />
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We arrived at just after 6am local time (1am UK time) on Tuesday. It's now 4pm local time Thursday and I feel like I've been here for ages. I think I've seen most of the sights already (it's a small place), I've walked lots, been shopping for food a couple of times, eaten out, ordered a few coffees and drunk more beer than I've had in the past 6 months! Jet lag is a bit of a problem, slept for an hour last night before I woke up and was wide awake for two or three hours. Other than that, no problems to report.<br />
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Weather - well, it's pretty cold but above freezing. There is a strong and cold wind though. Snow is forecast for Friday night (6-10cm) and hopefully the city's central heating (centrally controlled) will come on before that (needs four days below 5 degrees). Having said that, it is entirely possible that the week after the snow the temperatures could go up to almost 20 degrees again. I've tried to get a hot water bottle but can't find one anywhere, probably because the apartment blocks are so hot once the heating is on.<br />
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I don't have internet in my flat yet (I may be moving so it's on hold) but will put some pictures up once that's sorted out. If you can imagine a city with no real centre, based around blocks of apartments you've got it. There are more trees than I imagined, and the river is huge, although strange to see there's absolutely nothing but wilderness on the other side of it. The Ob is the third biggest river in Asia and it freezes over from the middle/end of October - enough to walk on and probably even drive on. Speaking of Asia, yes geographically I am in Asia but there is a much more European feel about the place than an Asian one.<br />
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Well, a pretty factual blog there, not too much to report that is particularly interesting at the moment. I still have to keep pinching myself to believe I'm here, it all feels very comfortable at the moment which is good but a little surreal. It could all change once I start teaching next week....Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-172751566927399454.post-38854319069084958322010-08-24T12:54:00.000-07:002010-08-24T12:54:26.780-07:00The ListI have a list. Actually, I have several lists. I find this makes organisation easier because I write things down I need to buy, or need to do. And then I don't feel as bad if I forget to buy/do them as they are on A List and they will be remembered again at some point.<br />
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Crossing things off the list feels good. So good in fact that it seems to be common practice among Listers to add things post-action, simply in order to cross them off again. This is called Being Productive. It is Post Productive Crossings Off and I've been doing a lot of those lately.<br />
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Today there were a few Post Productive Crossings Off. Purely because I had completely forgotten to add them to The List and I felt cheated that I couldn't cross them off when I'd done them. So I added them to The List and Crossed Them Off, immediately feeling much better.<br />
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Maybe I should add 'Cross Things Off The List' to The List to add to my sense of achievement each day...<br />
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Anyway, The List is helping me work out how much I still need to do but even more importantly, during the times when I think I'm not making progress in getting organised, it reminds me how much I've already achieved. So it IS worth adding the Post Productive Crossings Off even if only to make me feel as though I'm getting somewhere!<br />
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Now, where did I put The List - 'write unnecessary blog' and 'cross out completed jobs' need to be added and crossed off....Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-172751566927399454.post-40615193324381606532010-08-23T11:41:00.000-07:002010-08-23T11:41:24.882-07:00Getting ThereA few weeks ago I made a decision. I couldn't get work in the UK so I decided to look further afield. I applied for a few jobs in countries as diverse as Libya, Cambodia and Russia. I got offered a few (one in Saudi, two in Poland, and one in Russia). Taking everything into account I chose the job in Russia. Western Siberia to be exact. I'll be teaching English to adults.<br />
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I am going to fly out on 6 September. That's two weeks away. I'm in the final stages of packing up my life into storage boxes and putting them in a large wooden box for at least 10 months. I have got a tenant (a lovely one) for the flat, and have bought new knickers and made a doc's appointment for the diazepam prescription (for the flight) so preparations are going well. I think...<br />
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I don't mind putting things into boxes, emotionally or physically, so that part of the move isn't difficult. I'll miss family and friends but so many of my friends are online now that it won't be as tough as it was when I went to Poland 5 years ago. I've also got a new shiny laptop with built in webcam so keeping in touch should be a doddle!<br />
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I'm sure some things will be hard, not least the uncertainty of what I'm going into. I speak a little Russian and I've been to Russia on holiday but know very little about Russia really. I'm also not certain yet which city I'll be working in (either Tyumen or Nizhnevartovsk) which is slightly unsettling but I'm trying to go with the flow and deal with whatever comes.<br />
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I'll still be on Twitter (@peekaywrites) and Facebook but will update the blog too with my 'adventures'. You may even get to see a few photos!!<br />
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Paula<br />
xxUnknownnoreply@blogger.com2